


Falling Fast

by rainjazz



Category: The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types
Genre: Bottom Thomas, Camping, Fluff, Gay, M/M, Slow Romance, Thomas and Newt go camping, Thomas is hot for Newt, Top Newt, newt/alby rommates, newtmas - Freeform, thomas/brenda/minho roommates, young adult au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-04-16 05:05:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14157396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainjazz/pseuds/rainjazz
Summary: Thomas was sitting on the shore, a towel around his shoulders. He had spent a total of five seconds in the water, screamed at the deathly cold temperature, and proceeded to sit on a log for the next twenty minutes. He hated the outdoors. What he didn’t hate, though, was the way that Newt looked in his swim trunks. His belly peeking out from the red waistband, his abs flexing when he jumped around in the water, his long legs protruding from the blue body of the trunks, and of course, his appropriately sized- no. No, Thomas wasn’t looking there. Of course he wasn’t. He wouldn’t. No.--Thomas meets Newt on a dreaded group camping trip, and boy, is he in for it.





	1. Camping

**Author's Note:**

> Yay more Newtmas! This is going to be multiple chapters, I'll update as often as I can!

“I don’t wanna do this,” Thomas whined.

Brenda and Minho both glared at him, shaking their heads. They had been planning this camping trip for a month now and they just knew that Thomas would try to back out at the last minute. Ignoring him, they continued checking items off of their list and making sure that everything was packed tightly into the trunk of Minho’s car.

Thomas flailed his arms in the air dramatically, “Guys come on, I’ll get carsick.”

“We’ve been over this, Thomas. You can sit in the front, and you’ll have plenty of water. It’s only a two hour drive,” Brenda assured him.

Thomas looked around, desperately trying to find some other excuse. He hated camping, but his roommates had been pushing him to do this with them for months now, and he only agreed so that they would stop giving him crap about it. But now that the day had finally come, he wished that he had just taken all that crap instead of being forced to sleep in the woods for two nights. Regret seeped through his veins and filled him with inescapable discomfort.

“What if Teresa’s friends are mean?” Thomas pleaded.

“Thomas! Stop it, we all know how sweet Teresa is and that she would only bring along equally sweet people. You’re not getting out of this, okay? And that’s that,” Minho finally chimed in. He was tired of Thomas’ complaining.

Thomas sighed, defeated, and trudged into the house where his bag was waiting. He grabbed it, along with the box of bottled waters that his friends had purchased solely for him, and made his way back out to the car. After throwing his bag into the trunk, earning some more annoyed looks from Brenda and Minho, he crawled into the passenger seat and melted into it. This was going to be a long and dreadful car ride. Thomas hadn’t been lying about getting carsick. It happened on every single car trip he went on with his parents, and it was his sole excuse for getting out of all the other road trips his roommates had been on. He breathed deeply, shutting his eyes, and prepared himself for the miserable two hours that were to come.

“Minho, did you get gas yet?” Brenda asked from the back seat.

“Yep, Thomas and I stopped by the gas station yesterday. We also got snacks,” Minho tossed a plastic bag filled with chips, crackers, and candy back to Brenda.

“Sweet.”

Minho started the engine and they were off. It was a decent day for a long car ride, Thomas had to admit. He was worried that due to it being the middle of summer it would be too hot and the sun would only worsen the ride. But there were scattered clouds here and there, and with the window rolled down and the sun just peeking through, the temperature felt perfect. Minho had the radio on the classic rock station. He and Brenda were belting any lyrics that they knew and it felt like a movie scene. Thomas had downed two bottles of water already and he was feeling okay. Maybe this time he would make it.

“Thomas, buddy, how you feeling?” Brenda reached forward and patted his shoulder. They had been on the freeway for about thirty minutes now with barely any traffic.

“I’m okay, I think,” He responded, opening another bottle of water and leaning out the window a bit, letting the wind tousle his hair. Brenda smiled at him and he could hear her open a bag of chips. She handed him some and he ate them cautiously, worried they might make his stomach hurt.

“Only about ninety miles to go,” Minho slapped Thomas’ thigh and laughed. They were annoying, but they were good friends all in all.

An hour and a half in and Thomas had lost all hope of making it through. His head felt woozy and his entire body ached with nausea. He kept his face in the wind, hoping it would all blow away. He wrapped his arms tightly around his middle, taking slow, deep breaths. He barely heard them when Minho and Brenda would tell him that it was just a little bit further, hang in there. He tried his best. His eyes had been closed and he didn’t even notice when the car stopped and the doors slammed shut behind his friends who had already gotten out.

“We’re here! You made it, man,” Minho had opened Thomas’ door and was pressing the button of his seat belt. He heard voices coming from another car that was parked next to theirs, but he didn’t have time to process who they were before he felt all of the snacks and water rise in his throat.

He pushed Minho out of his way and raced towards the bushes. He retched behind a tree, his whole body shaking after being in the car for so long. He didn’t hear the footsteps behind him, and a sudden voice startled him amidst his puking.

“Hey, you okay?” The voice was laced with a light accent that confused Thomas. He turned around to see a tall, slim boy with dirty blonde hair that fell just above his ears. His skin was pale and he was adorned in a number of beige articles of clothing. With brown hiking boots to top it all off, he looked as if he went camping every day.

“Um, yeah, just… carsick,” Thomas crossed his arms tightly. This situation was not ideal. He didn’t even know this kid, who Thomas assumed to be one of Teresa’s friends, and their first meeting took place in the woods where Thomas has just puked his guts out.

The other boy chuckled and held out a water bottle to him. “I know how that goes, here.”

Thomas took it, nodding, and took a small sip. “Are you one of Teresa’s friends?”

“What? Oh, no, Alby is. I’m Alby’s roommate. Teresa invited him and let me come along because I love camping and asked if I could go. Name’s Newt, by the way.”

“Thomas.”

Newt smiled at him as he handed the water bottle back. “Feel better?”

“Much better, thanks.”

The two boys made their way out to the campsite, where everyone else was unloading the cars and setting up tents. Thomas noticed that each tent was a two person tent, and there were only two of them.

“Guys, where am I sleeping?” Thomas asked as he watched Brenda and Minho struggle with the poles.

Teresa spoke, she was standing by her car and a dark skinned boy who had to be Alby was unpacking their tent. “You’re with Newt. Lucky for you he has his own set of camping supplies, so you’ll get all the fancy stuff.”

Thomas scowled at Brenda and Minho. He wondered if they knew about this and had kept it from him on purpose. It was bad enough that he had been pressured into going on this trip in the first place. Now he had to share a tent with a complete stranger. This was going to be the worst weekend of his life. He huffed and grabbed his bag from the car, watching as Newt did the same with his. Newt pulled out a large duffle bag and an equally large bag that held the tent.

“Don’t worry mate, I don’t bite,” He teased Thomas and gestured for him to follow him to their tent spot. Thomas rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that there was a sort of calm and comforting vibe about him. He figured that if he had to share a tent with any stranger, Newt would be his best bet.

Newt had the tent up within five minutes, like an expert. Thomas figured that he probably was one, considering his love for the outdoors. Compared to the other two tents, it did seem luxurious. It stood at least a foot taller than the others, and it didn’t seem as old and raggedy. There was plenty of space on the inside for two sleeping bags and room to breathe. He could tell that Newt took very good care of it. Unlike Brenda and Minho’s rented tent, Newt’s was free of any dirt or shoe prints on the floor.

While they had been setting up the tents, the sun had fallen towards the evening. Brenda and Minho brought hot dogs and salad for the first night. They all gathered around the campfire that Newt, of course, had made and held their hot dogs over it while Brenda, Minho, and Teresa caught up with each other. Alby chimed in every once and a while, and Newt and Thomas were left silently eating and pretending to listen.

“Tommy,” Newt said suddenly, surprising Thomas with the nickname, “Wanna go on a walk with me?”

Newt set his stick that he was using for his hot dog down and looked at Thomas. They were sitting on a log together, the evening sun shining through the cracks in the leaves. For some reason Thomas didn’t feel the need to lie. He kind of wanted to get to know Newt, which was weird for him because he didn’t really like socializing much.

“Sure.” Newt smiled contentedly at his answer.

The two boys got up and walked towards the little path between the trees, the others too engrossed in their conversation to notice. Thomas stared, entranced, at how Newt gracefully stepped through the poorly made path and never tripped. Thomas, on the other hand, fell a few times and had to grab onto the back of Newt’s jacket to regain balance. Newt would chuckle each time and Thomas found himself blushing profusely. Why was he blushing? He couldn’t figure it out and didn’t have time to before Newt began making conversation with him.

“So, Tommy, you’re not much of a camper are you?” Newt looked back at Thomas, brushing some hair out of his eyes as he carefully stepped over a log. Thomas laughed nervously.

“Nah, I prefer couches and heating.”

“I suppose that’s understandable,” Newt grabbed Thomas’ arm before he could fall down a slope, “I wouldn’t like going to the woods much either if I got sick during the ride every time,” he smiled.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, honestly, it really does happen every time,” he confirmed Newt’s assumption.

“Ginger helps. My sister, Sonya, had the same problem. We discovered ginger and she brings it on all our road trips, hasn’t gotten sick since.”

“Really?” Thomas looked up at Newt, admiring the way the dots of setting sun freckled his fair skin. “You wouldn’t happen to have any with you, would you? For the ride home?”

“Sorry, lad. I didn’t think to bring any, nobody in the car is prone to it like you,” Newt laughed and gave Thomas an apologetic look.

"That’s alright, I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

They reached a certain point where the path wasn’t walkable anymore and turned around to head back. During this time Thomas learned that Newt had moved to Washington from London five years ago for college, wanting a change in scenery. He worked as a waiter at a fancy restaurant (Thomas couldn’t remember the hard to pronounce name) and shared a decently sized apartment with Alby, as he had mentioned before. Thomas told Newt about never finishing community college and his low-wage job at the local grocer. He also informed him of his noisy living situation. Sharing the rent in a small house with Minho and Brenda was a handful.

After their little walk Thomas decided that he liked Newt, and that maybe sharing a tent with him would be a good opportunity to start a friendship. They had already set up their sleeping bags within the tent earlier, so all they needed to do now was change and get ready for sleeping. Thomas sat on his side of the tent, his pajamas clutched in his hands, and bit his lip as he watched Newt strip down completely in front of him. All the way to his boxers. Newt’s body glowed in the pale light of the tent. His muscles outlined by the shadows of the evening turning to night and his skin appearing softer than ever. Thomas was captivated by his beauty, unable to remove his eyes as Newt pulled on some sweatpants and a white t-shirt that clung to his torso perfectly. He was snapped back to reality when Newt laughed at him and covered his eyes with his hands.

“I won’t look.”

Thomas gulped, embarrassed but not embarrassed, and changed as quickly as he could. When he was finally wrapped snugly in his sleeping bag, he told Newt that he could look now. Newt uncovered his eyes and did the same, the zipper of his sleeping bag deafening in the silence of the campsite.

“Newt?”

“Hm?”

Thomas didn’t know what to say, he just wanted to hear Newt’s soothing voice. Once again, he couldn’t seem to figure out why, but he did know that camping always gave him an extreme feeling of discomfort. Being away from things you’re familiar with and having almost nothing that made you feel at home. He felt out of place and disconnected. Maybe Newt’s voice reminded him of the comfort that came with being indoors. Thomas shifted in his sleeping bag to look at him. He gasped a little bit; Newt looked adorable, all tucked in and his hair sticking out in a puff around his forehead.

“What is it, Tommy?”

“Night,” Thomas mentally slapped himself for not saying more, but knew that they should get to sleep anyway. Newt was probably tired from their walk and the car ride. Thomas felt tired too, but he was used to staying up too late most nights doing who knows what. He would settle with staring at the fabric of the ceiling of the tent for a few hours and just thinking.

“Night Tommy.”

-

Thomas awoke to the sound of quiet chatter and sizzling bacon. He rubbed his eyes, squinting at the sunlight that was peeking through the tent. He looked over to see that Newt was still sleeping. He was surprised at this, for he had assumed that Newt was an early bird. He slowly got dressed, knowing that his massive amount of shuffling around was bound to wake Newt, and unzipped the door of the tent. That did it. Newt bolted upright, scaring Thomas, and they both jumped and screeched at the same time.

“Geez, Newt! How can you sleep in so late when you’re so easy to wake?” Thomas was half laughing, half panting due to his heart rate soaring through the trees.

Newt blew out a breath of air, “I dunno, to be honest. Thanks for waking me, though. I hate oversleeping,” he ran his fingers through his hair, causing Thomas’ face to heat the slightest bit.

“Smells like breakfast is ready,” Newt said, scooching out of his sleeping bag and making to get dressed.

“Yep, I’ll get some for us,” Thomas rushed out of the tent before he could witness another round of Newt’s body, not trusting himself to keep his thoughts clean while watching. What was wrong with him? He had only known Newt for a day now. Why was he-

“Thomas! We’re swimming at the river today!” Brenda shouted from across the campsite. She was waving her towel at him, her yellow one-piece swimsuit already tucked under her jean shorts.

“Great,” he muttered to himself, shoving the image of Newt in swim trunks deep down in his mind. This was going to be a long day.

-

“I’m gonna kill you, Brenda!” Minho roared, creating a wave and sending it straight into Brenda’s face. She squealed and swam backwards away from him.

Thomas was sitting on the shore, a towel around his shoulders. He had spent a total of five seconds in the water, screamed at the deathly cold temperature, and proceeded to sit on a log for the next twenty minutes. He hated the outdoors. What he didn’t hate, though, was the way that Newt looked in his swim trunks. His belly peeking out from the red waistband, his abs flexing when he jumped around in the water, his long legs protruding from the blue body of the trunks, and of course, his appropriately sized- no. No, Thomas wasn’t looking there. Of course he wasn’t. He wouldn’t. No.

“Come on, Tommy, come back!” Newt pleaded, pretending to splash water at him.

“No thanks, I’m good here, not getting frostbite!”

Newt pouted at him, but respected his wishes and turned back to everyone else and resumed his splashing. Thomas smiled, taking joy in watching everyone have fun in the river. They did this for a couple hours before returning to the campsite for lunch. They all talked and laughed together this time, Newt and Thomas included. They still sat together on the same log as before. Thomas’ heart pounded just a little bit harder every time Newt would pat his knee or nudge him with his elbow. Really, Thomas? Two days. Two days and he was developing a crush. On a guy. Not the first time, but Thomas didn’t usually fall this fast.

It proved to be a problem for the rest of the trip. They all went on a hike later that day, and Thomas couldn’t keep his mouth shut around Newt. He would blabber on and on about his boring life and then listen, eyes fixed on Newt, as Newt would share back. Dinner wasn’t any better, either. When Newt got changed again that night he tried to keep his eyes shut, but looked anyways and noticed Newt’s pleasant- no! But it was so good, and Thomas almost punched himself when he felt his own boxers tighten the tiniest bit at the sight of it. On their last day, they spent it chattering away at the river, throwing stones and making fun of Thomas’ inability to skip any. Thomas helped Newt pack everything up, feeling a small sadness in his chest when he realized that the short trip was over.

“Good luck on your ride home, Tommy. Hope ya don’t lose your lunch.” Newt smiled as he waved goodbye to Thomas, got into the back seat of Teresa’s car, and Thomas watched them drive away.

“Why didn’t you ask for his number, you idiot?” Minho put a hand on Thomas’ shoulder as they sat in Minho’s car, getting ready to leave. Thomas looked at Minho, concerned, and Minho just laughed.

“You couldn’t be any more obvious about your crush, dummy,” Brenda said from the back.

“W-what? What are you guys talking about?” Thomas’ words were weak, knowing that he wouldn’t be convincing.

“Don’t worry, _Tommy_ , we’ll make sure you two see each other again,” Minho mocked Newt’s nickname. Thomas’ face turned five shades of red deeper than usual.

They pulled out of the campsite and began the long journey home, Thomas’ stomach feeling queasy for more reasons than one.

 


	2. The Girlfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Who’s this?”
> 
> “Oh! Yeah, this is my girlfriend, Rachel,” Newt smiled and placed a kiss on her head.
> 
> \--
> 
> Uh oh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter, it's more of a filler. There will be more drama and romance to come I promise!

Thomas had his elbows on the counter of his check-out stand, his eyes slowly closing and opening as he fought the urge to sleep. Barely anyone ever came in anymore after the opening of the chain grocer a couple blocks down. Thomas was bored out of his mind. He had seen a total of five customers that day. It was sad, really.

Three days, going on four, had gone by after the camping trip. Thomas had spent each one at work, pondering the curve of Newt’s jaw and the way his hands worked when he built a fire. But on this particular Thursday afternoon, he was too sleepy to think about the pretty boy. He was always sleepy, of course, due to his terrible sleeping habits that he just couldn’t shake no matter how hard he tried. Newt had floated away from his mind and was replaced with strange, dreamy scenes. That is, until Thomas was snapped awake by that exact subject waltzing into the store, a petite girl with long, brown hair trailing behind him.

Thomas felt several emotions in that moment. He was confused, because why would Newt be here, at this tiny store on a Thursday? And he was excited, because oh my god it was Newt. He was angry. Who was that girl that followed so close to him, clutching his shirt when he strayed too far ahead? He knew in that moment that he was hundreds of feet deep in a hole that would take years to climb out of. He was doomed.

“Hey, Tommy,” he said it so casually, as if he visited him every day.

“Hey… Newt. What, uh, what are you doing here?” Thomas straightened himself upright as Newt walked over to his stand.

“Well, you told me about this adorable little store, and about how you were employed here, so I thought I’d stop by,” he said his words with some sarcasm, as if his presence should have been obvious and expected.

“Oh. Well, here I am,” Thomas laughed nervously and gestured to the empty store.

“It’s a very cute place,” Newt looked around at the shelves that were stocked neatly with local brands, “Shame that nobody’s here.” He sounded genuinely sad at that.

Thomas cleared his throat, making eye contact with the brown haired girl.

“Who’s this?”

“Oh! Yeah, this is my girlfriend, Rachel,” Newt smiled and placed a kiss on her head.

Thomas used all his might not to cry right then and there. He finally admitted to himself that he had fallen hard and that it wasn’t going away anytime soon. But his heart dropped to his stomach at the word _girlfriend_. She was cute, very much what Thomas would have imagined as Newt’s type. She had big brown eyes and wore a little pink sundress with blue flowers. When she smiled it seemed a little too bright, a little too optimistic. Her overwhelming positivity contrasted harshly against the dark clouds of Thomas’ gaze.

“Nice to meet you!” Rachel extended her hand out to him, her formal greeting a bit sickening to Thomas.

“Yeah, you too,” He shook her small hand weakly. It was baby soft and a bit clammy, but his hands were sweating from nerves as well so he couldn’t really complain.

“Want my number, Tommy? So we can stay in touch?” Newt asked. Thomas was shocked for a moment, but then remembered that it was normal for friends to have each other’s numbers.

“Oh, sure,” they exchanged numbers and then Newt announced that he wanted to get lunch. Thomas suffered through listening to the couple bicker about where to go for a couple minutes, and then watched as Newt once again waved goodbye and exited the store.

Thomas groaned and slammed his head on the counter. Newt has a girlfriend. Of course he does. That was just Thomas’ luck. He stared at his phone for few moments, half expecting it to buzz with a text from him. It didn’t. He spent the rest of his shift wallowing in his misery, trying to change his morale when a customer would walk in every once in a while. He closed up the store at eight and began his walk home.

Taking a deep breath in of the warm summer night air, he shoved his hands in his sweater pockets. His house was only a few blocks from the store, conveniently a ten minute walk away. Thomas hated driving and never bothered to get a car after barely passing his driver’s test. He preferred the time he got to himself whilst walking or taking the bus anyway. Halfway through his walk, his phone buzzed in his back pocket. He nearly dropped it when he saw that it was none other than Newt.

**Nice seeing you today. Wanna hang this weekend?**

Thomas smiled at the message, his heart fluttering for just a moment. But his joy was killed when he remembered that the message was platonic. He sighed and typed back.

**Yeah! I’m free saturday. U have anything in mind?**

**There’s a cute little pizza place by my apartment that I want you to try. I’ll pick you up at noon?**

**Okay, sounds good**

Thomas couldn’t believe it. It sounded like Newt was inviting him on a date. “A pizza place that I want you to try”. Thomas wondered for a moment if maybe Newt had meant to text Rachel. His next text proved that he didn’t have the wrong number.

**See you then, Tommy**

Thomas slammed the door to his house open and screamed in frustration before falling onto the couch face first. Brenda appeared around the corner of the kitchen, mixing a bowl of pancake mix.

“Thomas, what’s wrong with you?”

“It’s Newt,” he mumbled, voice muffled by a pillow, “he has a girlfriend.”

Brenda stopped mixing and set the bowl down on the counter. She kneeled down beside Thomas and rubbed his back. He squeezed the pillow tighter and groaned into it.

“Aw, I’m sorry bud. But you can’t dwell on it, okay? Take a breath and a shower. You stink. We’re having breakfast for dinner tonight, you love that.” Thomas looked up at her with pitiful eyes.

“But Brenda,” he whined, “he’s so pretty.”

Brenda giggled at him. “I know silly, but he has a girlfriend. You have to let it go.”

Brenda got up and continued with dinner. Thomas sighed heavily, pushing himself up and trudging towards the shower. He adjusted the temperature to the nice steamy heat that he liked and undressed. He then stepped into the stream, letting the heat encompass him and wash away the day.

Closing his eyes, his mind began to wander. The image of Newt in the tent with all his clothes off slowly appeared. Thomas mentally honed in on his hips and followed his v line downwards. Thomas let out a breath as his legs twitched. The hot water felt good on his body and he started emitting his own heat along with it. He gave up on trying to push the image out, letting the privacy of his shower win, and reached down to where he was beginning to ache.

It didn’t take long, Newt’s body burned into his skull sending him over the edge. He washed himself, only feeling a little guilty about what he had done, and got dressed. He found Brenda and Minho waiting for him at the table, a feast of breakfast food in between them. They both immediately started blabbering about their days. They always did this when Thomas needed cheering up. He assumed that Brenda had told Minho about his situation.

“Guys, he wants to hang out with me on Saturday,” Thomas interrupted Brenda and Minho’s argument about how bacon should be cooked. They stopped and looked at each other and then at Thomas.

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Minho asked. Thomas shrugged.

“I dunno. I already said I would. He said he wanted to take me to this pizza place.”

“That sounds like a date to me,” Brenda teased.

“I know, it’s weird. But I can’t cancel now,” Thomas took a bite of his pancake, “I think I’ll just see how it goes and go from there.”

They both nodded and resumed their debate. Thomas stayed up extra late that night. He rolled around on his bed, unable to stop thinking about Newt. He didn’t drift off until the clock hit four. His friday morning shift proved to be very difficult. His alarm blaring at seven interrupting a very pleasant dream about the boy he was hopelessly falling for. He came home to an empty house; Brenda and Minho were working closing shifts at their own jobs.

He spent the rest of that day waiting for Saturday. Thomas didn’t have a lot to look forward to in his life; his days were filled with work, casual conversation with Brenda and Minho, occasional coffee dates with Teresa (all three of them would go to these), and laying around either on the internet or watching movies. He had no plans for his future. His lack of college completion left him hopeless for anything more than his current life, and he was kind of okay with that. In terms of partners, he had had three boyfriends and one girlfriend. The girlfriend didn’t last long, and the boyfriends were complicated. Thomas had been taking a break from dating and all that love stuff for a while until Newt came around. He didn’t want another complicated situation, but seeing as to how this one was already playing out, it was inevitable. Thomas didn’t sleep at all that night.

-

“Thomas, your boyfriend is here,” Brenda said blatantly as Newt pulled up in their driveway.

“Shut up,” Thomas whacked her on the head as he passed her in the hallway, pulling on his shoes.

“That was fast, Tommy. Excited to see me?” Newt laughed as Thomas climbed into the passenger seat. He blushed and looked away.

“So, what’s so special about this pizza place?” Thomas asked. Newt pulled out of the driveway.

“Oh nothing really. Rachel and I just discovered it,” Thomas flinched at the name, “It’s a bit hidden. The entrance is in an alleyway. I just thought you might like it.”

Thomas’ head was spinning. Whenever Newt spoke to him it sounded like he was flirting. Thomas had to continuously remind himself that he was dating someone. He supposed that it was just how he talked and he honestly didn’t mean it in that way, but Thomas clung to any chance that the adorable blond might take interest in him.

The pizza place really was hidden. It was tucked away behind a watch shop on a desolate street. The door had a small sign that said “open” and was next to a few garbage bins, literally a stereotypical alley. Newt held it open for Thomas, gesturing for him to go inside. He was immediately met with the aroma of marinara sauce, grease, and various meats. It smelled like heaven. The interior was quite cozy. It had dim lighting and vintage paintings were scattered across the walls. A candle was placed at each table, and there were a few couples sitting at them, talking quietly. It was all awfully romantic.

“Newt?” Thomas questioned as they were seated at a table in the back corner.

“I know, I know. It’s an interesting atmosphere. But trust me, you won’t be disappointed.”

Thomas nodded. Newt spoke again, halting the creeping awkward silence.

“You okay Tommy? You look like a zombie.”

Thomas laughed a little at Newt’s lack of consideration for his possible hurt feelings at that comment. Newt was frowning at him, concern written all over his face. Thomas wasn’t hurt, but became slightly embarrassed that his sleep deprivation was that noticeable. He subconsciously brought his fingers up to his eyes and felt along the puffs that sat underneath.

“I don’t sleep much,” It was an understatement.

“Sleep is important, Tommy. Is it insomnia? Technology? What’s keeping you up?” Newt pried, leaning in closer with each word. Thomas shoved his hands between his legs, nervously looking Newt in the eye. His concern for the tired boy was making Thomas’ heart flutter and his palms sweat. Nobody had cared that much about his bad habits since, well, two lovers ago. But that's another story.

The honest answer would probably be depression. But Thomas would never realize that. He just thought that he didn’t like sleeping and therefore was avoiding it. Thomas merely shrugged, causing Newt to fall back into his chair and huff.

“Hm. Hope you get that figured out.”

He wouldn’t. Not for now, anyway. But what he did figure out is that Newt hadn’t been lying about the pizza. It was the best pizza he had ever had in his life. It was definitely worth the discomfort of the two boys being the only non-couple in the place. They chatted about shared interests over their meal, such as reading, movies, and writing. Simple things that most people liked, but Thomas and Newt had an intense shared passion for those activities that was more than the average person. They took turns naming obscure books and movies and quoting famous writers. They related their writing struggles and laughed at each others’ anecdotes.

“Rachel doesn’t care about any of these things,” Newt said before taking a sip of water, “She likes cars and crystals. I don’t get it. I try, every once in a while I’ll go to a car show with her or visit a gem shop,” He looked down at his lap, “But she never reads my book recommendations, or watches movies with me, or…” he trailed off.

“Or?” Thomas pushed.

“Well, I like to write, as you now know. I’ve tried writing her poems before, but she doesn’t really seem interested.”

Thomas’ heart broke at Newt’s expression. He could tell that Newt was really passionate about writing. He was passionate about a lot of things, as Thomas had come to find. He wanted to be angry with Rachel for not appreciating that about her boyfriend, but told himself to not judge her like that without knowing more about her. Maybe Newt was stretching the truth a bit too. Who knows.

“I would read your stuff,” Thomas blurted, not really thinking, “I mean, if you were ever interested in sharing, I would love to read it.” he held his breath, not wanting to witness Newt’s reaction but scanning his face nonetheless.

Newt looked at Thomas with a glisten in his eyes that Thomas hadn’t seen before. He smiled sweetly, leaning in again, but not too close.

“Thanks, Tommy. That means a lot.”

-

_He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend. He has a girlfriend._

Thomas had buried himself in all of his blankets and shoved his head under his pillow. His date-no, _dinner_ with Newt was replaying in his head like a broken record. The last thing Thomas wanted was to fall in love with someone who was taken. But that was what was happening, whether he liked it or not. He remembered Newt’s sweet words to him when he had been worried about his sleep. Newt had brought it up again while dropping Thomas off at home.

_“Try to get some sleep, mate, okay? You could use it.”_

Thomas wanted to cry. He hadn’t felt that kind of love from anyone in so long. Of course, there were the concerned words and looks from Brenda and Minho, but they mostly left him alone and let him do his own thing. They thought that it was best for him that way. But the truth was that Thomas felt lonely. His last breakup had left him wanting nothing other than isolation, which ultimately led to him pushing everyone away and becoming trapped in his own cave, by himself. Maybe that was why he was falling so quickly for this new charming presence in his life.

Newt was something to look forward to, even though Thomas couldn’t have him. _I’m trying, Newt, I’m trying_ , Thomas thought as he poked his head out of his blanket fortress and looked at the clock.

3:27am

He sighed, which turned into a shaky breath, which turned into a stifled sob. He clasped his hand over his mouth, not expecting this small breakdown. He just wanted to sleep, but he also didn’t at the same time. He wanted to do it for Newt, but he couldn’t. Tears fell from his sleepy eyes and he squeezed the pillow tighter around his head. His body shook ever so slightly under the blankets as he cried and cried until eventually he wasn’t in the waking realm anymore. When he awoke to the sun blaring through his curtains and his cheeks burning red, he knew it.

He was utterly fucked.


	3. Newt's Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then Newt was leaning in really close.
> 
> He was leaning in far too close.
> 
> \--
> 
> But was it really a mistake?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is even shorter but it's an important one with all the Drama

Thomas was trapped. Newt had been asking him to go back to that pizza place every weekend for the past four weeks. Thomas found out that Newt really liked to vent to him, especially about his relationship. To put it simply, Newt clearly wasn’t happy. But Newt didn’t seem to think so, he just thought that he wasn’t deserving of anything better than what he was getting from Rachel. She didn’t care about his interests, never asked him about how he was or how his day was, or took time for him. It wasn’t like she was a bad person, though, she just didn’t think about his feelings very much.

“I don’t blame her though,” Newt had said, “It’s not like I ever ask her to, or y’know, show any emotions anyways.”

Newt was conflicted. He had been with Rachel for six months. He started feeling this way after two. Thomas was trying so hard to not think of her as a bad person, but all he heard from Newt was the negative aspects. It seemed like Newt may have felt the same way. Rachel was complicated, and Thomas knew all too well how that went. Newt resorted to blabbering to Thomas about it, and Thomas would just sit quietly and listen. Thomas wished he had blabbered to someone about his past relationships, but as usual he just kept everything shoved deep down and locked up tight. For now he would concern himself only with Newt. He was his friend, although he desperately wished he could be more, but friends listen, so that was what he would do.

Despite Thomas’ insistence on being a good friend to Newt, these recurring pizza “dates” were making it hard for him to let go of his growing crush. _Please, Newt_ , he would think, _just tell me one good thing about her_. He thought that maybe if he knew something nice about Rachel, he could find some solace in knowing that she made Newt happy. Newt never did though. All he would do was complain, so on their fifth day, Thomas decided he would try to pry.

“How did you guys meet, anyway?” Newt looked up from his salad, surprised by the question. He cleared his throat.

“Uh, college. She… sort of helped me study, but in the way where we weren’t really studying,” Newt’s cheeks turned a light shade of pink. Thomas suddenly wished he hadn’t asked. He chuckled nervously.

“Right. Why did you decide to be together for so long?”

Newt frowned and hesitated. “I dunno, it just kind of happened I guess? One day she asked me if we were dating and I said yeah, sure, and we haven’t felt the need to stop since,” he sighed, “Alby doesn’t like her much,” he added.

Thomas wanted to tell him that their relationship was unbalanced, that they definitely should stop. Especially when even Newt’s friend knew something was up. But it wasn’t his decision to make. He barely knew them, anyways. He wanted Newt to be happy, he wanted to make Newt happy; the best he could do was just listen. So he did. He listened to Newt talk about the argument he and Rachel had two nights ago over how she hadn’t met his parents and wouldn’t, even though Newt offered to pay for her plane ticket. He listened as Newt’s voice shook with an indeterminate emotion as he described the frustration he felt. He listened as Newt fell silent, slowly meeting Thomas’ eyes. For a moment, he listened to nothing, as Newt tilted his head slightly and studied the moles scattered across Thomas’ cheeks.  

“Tommy,” he almost whispered, “Can we go to your house?”

Thomas was confused by this request, “Why?”

“I don’t wanna go back to my place, Alby has friends over and they’re loud.”

“Okay, sure, let’s go.”

-

So there they were, in Thomas’ room. Only his lamp was lit, casting an orange glow on his furniture and both boys’ faces. Thomas was sitting on his bed, watching Newt slowly take a tour of his belongings. He studied his bookshelf, full of old novels he had stolen from libraries. He studied his desk, covered in notebooks and rejected short stories. He looked at all of Thomas’ items with intense curiosity. Thomas thought it was cute, how Newt got so transfixed on things.

“Tommy, what’s this?” Newt held up a scrapbook that contained pages of weird collages that represented all of the things Thomas would never dare talk about.

“My collages. They’re nothing.”

“Well they look like _something_ to me,” he flipped through a couple of them and landed on one that represented a particular -complicated- relationship. “I like this one.”

It was composed of things that were green. That color was now sickening to Thomas and he could barely look at it without feeling bile rise in his throat. It had pictures of grass, flowers, fields, and various people wearing green clothes.

“Green is my favorite color,” Newt said with an adorable smile as he admired the collage. _Fuck_ , Thomas thought.

Newt put the scrapbook away and sat next to Thomas. Thomas felt an overwhelming sense of discomfort as the silence between them stretched too far, but Newt seemed to be okay with it. He was staring at Thomas’ wall, his face relaxed. His knee was touching Thomas’. Thomas wanted to hold Newt’s hand and lay back with him. He’d feel much more comfortable if they were laying down. If Newt was his.

“Tommy?” Newt shifted so his right leg was propped up on the bed and he was facing Thomas straight on. “I just realized…” he got closer, “I don’t know anything,” his hands were on either side of Thomas, “about you.”

And then Newt was leaning in really close. Thomas could feel his face practically burning to a crisp. What was Newt doing? He was leaning in far too close. Their noses were touching now. Thomas felt Newt’s warm breath as his lips parted.

“Newt? What are you-”

Before he could get another word out, Newt had kissed him. His soft lips against Thomas’ rough ones, so gentle and sure. They continued to kiss, Newts hands now on Thomas’ hips as he leaned in further and Thomas thought he might fall. He couldn’t really think much in that moment, though. Thomas’ head felt like a carousel, but it was going dangerously fast and he feared that he would become too dizzy. Newt was moving his hands under Thomas’ shirt now as they kissed harder.

Newt’s fingertips were cold, but they felt good on Thomas’ hot skin. Thomas had refrained from pleasuring himself since that time in the shower because anytime he would start, he could only think of Newt, so naturally he was a bit pent up. He moaned unwillingly into Newt’s mouth as Newt felt up his chest, his hands leaving a cold trail of electricity behind them. His body ached for Newt’s icy touch. It had been so long since anyone had touched him. Newt moved his head and sucked at Thomas’ neck, causing Thomas to bite his lip and pray that it wouldn’t leave a mark. But it felt so good, he didn’t want him to stop. Thomas gasped when Newt snaked his hands downward and grazed where he had become too hard too fast. He wanted Newt so bad, so badly that it took his entire stock of willpower and all of his strength mentally and physically to push Newt away and stand up.

“Newt, no, we can’t do this. I-I won’t let you, okay?” Thomas felt tears form in his eyes, not just from having to reject Newt’s actions, but from the pain of his jeans against his erection, “You have a girlfriend, remember? Rachel?”

Newt scowled and put his face in his hands. “Fuck, you’re right, I’m sorry, Tommy,” He stood up and pulled his jacket on, “I don’t know why… Shit, I’m so sorry. I’ll go.”  

“Newt, wait, it’s okay,” Thomas tried to console Newt, but he was already out the door. Thomas followed him but he was too quick.

Before letting the front door fall behind him, Newt stopped and turned around. “I’m sorry, Tommy,” He repeated. And then he was gone.

“What was that all about?” Thomas heard Brenda say from behind him as he watched the glow of Newt’s headlights fade outside the window.

“Shit, Brenda. It’s happening again.”

-

Saturday. Thomas sat at their usual table, drumming his fingers against his knees. His eyes were fixated on the entrance. He didn’t know if Newt would come, he hadn’t heard from him since the incident. Thomas was running purely on coffee and anxiety. Newt’s move that he had pulled the previous Saturday guaranteed Thomas an entire week’s worth of restlessness. It was bad enough that Thomas had sleeping issues, but piling the drama of his crush cheating on his girlfriend with him on top of that-that was too much. And then there was the problem of the feeling of Newt’s hands and lips that lingered on Thomas’ skin. They were tattooed there, never to come off. Thomas was a wreck.

And yet he was there, at the pizza place, waiting patiently for Newt to arrive so he could try to work out what had happened. If there was anything Thomas didn’t want, complicated crush drama was at the top of his list. He had been there for fifteen minutes and was ready to give up when a familiar head of dirty blonde hair appeared at the doorway. Thomas’ heartbeat sped up and somehow his hands became even more sweaty than before.

He watched as Newt rounded the corner and made his way slowly over to Thomas. He sat down across from him without saying a word, avoiding Thomas’ eyes. His demeanor had shifted from his usual casual and collected self to a broken, tired boy with red cheeks and messy hair.

“Newt?” Thomas said softly. Newt breathed.

“I told her,” his words were barely audible, “I told her that I kissed you. And she-”

Newt closed his eyes and scrunched up his face as if he was about to cry, but he didn’t. “She said that she didn’t care. That I could kiss anyone I wanted, because she had been doing the same.”

There was a short silence where Thomas processed Newt’s words.

“She’s been cheating on you?” Thomas raised his eyebrows, wanting nothing more in that moment than to wrap his arms around Newt and tell him that he deserved so much better. That Thomas could make it right.

Newt nodded sadly. “I’m sorry, Tommy. I honestly don’t know what got into me. I like you a lot-I think more so than I realized. I acted on impulse, and I’m really sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Newt. Shit happens, it’s okay. And, well, I like you a lot too,” Thomas’ face heated up like a hot air balloon as he remembered how excited he had gotten when Newt touched him, “But let’s focus on the more pressing issue at hand, okay?”

Newt barely noticed Thomas’ confession. He was so caught up in the betrayal and heartbreak that he felt from Rachel. Even though she showed minimal compassion towards him, he really cared about her. Now, he had to somehow break those feelings and let them go. Then there was what had happened with Thomas. He didn’t understand how he could simultaneously like two people at the same time. His brain was a mush of self-loathing and self-pity and he didn’t know what to do.

“Did you break up with her?” Thomas asked. It seemed like a silly question, but Thomas needed the closure.

“Yeah,” Newt’s voice cracked, “It hurt a lot, Tommy. I really liked her, and she didn’t even care. She never cared.” He put his head in his hands.

Thomas really couldn’t believe it. Newt was much too good for a person like Rachel. It was no wonder that he had kissed Thomas; Rachel was depriving him of the love and care that he deserved, and his desperation for it caused him to act on it. She had ruined a perfectly good boyfriend. A perfect boyfriend. Thomas couldn’t help but tell himself that he had something to do with Newt’s pain, but in reality he may have saved him from a toxic relationship.

“Alby said that I should stop dating for a while. But…” Newt looked at Thomas, conflict swimming in his eyes. Thomas cut him off before Newt could say that he wanted to be with him.

“I think that would be a good idea. Just take some time for yourself, it helps. I… would know.”

Newt’s head perked up at his last words. “God, Tommy, I really _don’t_ know anything about you,” he sighed heavily, “I guess I could try.” He sounded sad and his voice was strained, but Thomas knew that this would be for the best.

Breakups had this funny way of seeping deep down into your soul and pulling apart all of your emotions, rearranging them and laughing as you try to put them back together properly. All of Thomas’ breakups had left him in pieces, always feeling the need to replace what he had without simply trying to find something better. Newt’s breakup was sudden, a knife cutting the thin string between him and Rachel in one smooth swoop. He had been holding onto it, trying to keep Rachel from falling, carrying her weight with him wherever he went. But she had wanted to fall, and when she did, everything that Newt had been holding came crashing down upon him.

So now these two broken boys, who met on an innocent camping trip, one falling instantly for the other and the other gradually realizing his feelings for the first, tried insistently to do what they thought was best. Thomas didn’t want to make Newt more confused by confessing his love for him and pressuring him into dating. Newt still felt obligated to respect what he had with Rachel and didn’t want to jump straight into something right after his heart had been shattered. They both wanted each other, but with their past experiences they were afraid. In turn, they distanced themselves from each other, thinking that it would bring them happiness.

Neither of them showed up to the pizza place that next weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tend to make continuity errors sometimes so let me know if I mess something up haha. Also, I know how I want this to end but I'm struggling a bit with these build up chapters so it may sound a little rushed, but bear with me. Comments are super appreciated! :)


	4. Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas couldn’t take it. Newt was so pretty and warm and Thomas wanted to devour every inch of him. Before Newt could protest, Thomas had leaned forward and connected their lips once again.
> 
> \--
> 
> They just can't keep their hands off each other, can they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thomas and Newt are a mess! Also, a little look into one of Thomas' past relationships

The glue that held the ripped out pictures from Thomas’ collection of old magazines somehow wasn’t enough to hold them to the page. He had tried over and over again to re-apply and re-stick them but no matter what, they continued to fray and fall off. He thought that maybe it had to do with the fact that there were too many pictures, too many layers. He just couldn’t stop ripping out more and more, none of them being enough to satisfy his need for expressing his emotions. He sighed and stretched his arms, lacing his fingers together and holding them out in front of him.

Images of the outdoors, the browns and yellows and, yes, the greens of nature set the base for this particular collage. They were the only ones that would stick. Next came pictures of books and little passages from different articles that Thomas liked. Some of them were just one or two words, some of them paragraphs. The rest of it was composed of faces and random household objects that Thomas had ripped out to try and distract himself from the true meaning of his collage. He leaned back in his chair, defeated as yet another piece slid out of place. Not bothering to glance at the clock (he already knew morning was creeping its way into existence), he turned off his lamp and laid on his bed.

No texts from Newt. Absolutely zero. Thomas didn’t know why it surprised him, after all he had told him to take time for himself. He didn’t think that Newt would take it so literally. He began to worry that Newt would travel down the same path he did. Isolation, sadness, loneliness, and the all-encompassing inability to sleep. He hoped that Alby would take notice if anything was wrong with Newt and would help him out. Without Brenda and Minho by his side, Thomas may not have been alive at that very moment. He still wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing.

Thomas entered the kitchen monday morning to find Minho sitting at the table, staring out the window as he hovered a spoon over a bowl of cereal.

“Don’t you work today?” Thomas asked as he poured himself his own bowl of cereal.

“Nah, I called in sick. I have a really bad headache and my nose is all stuffy.” Thomas chuckled. Minho smiled back, squinting at him and taking a bite of his cereal.

After a long silence with both boys gazing out at the summer rain, Minho gave Thomas a serious look.

“Hey, have you been okay? That thing you had going with Newt-it seemed to shake you up a bit,” Minho said, leaning in towards Thomas so he could speak softly.

“Yeah, well, I don’t know. There’s not much I can do. He needs time to himself, he needs space. So I guess I’m giving it to him?” Thomas looked down at his bowl, “Or maybe he never wants to see me again. I don’t know.”

“I’m just worried that whatever is happening here is gonna end up like Gally.” Thomas closed his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows at Minho’s words. Gally. His most recent heartbreak. The worst one, the most complicated. The green one.

“Gally was… different. I think. Newt is a dedicated kind of guy. Gally wasn’t.”

Minho pressed on, “But, Thomas, Newt cheated on his girlfriend. He could do it again, that is, if you guys were ever together. Who’s to say he won’t be just like him?” Thomas began to get frustrated with his friend.

“First of all- Gally and I were on and off all the time, you know this, most of the time he wasn’t even cheating. Newt and I won’t even be together, he’s _avoiding_ me, Minho,” Thomas slammed his hands on the table, causing Minho to jump back, “Nothing says ‘I don’t want to be with you’ like avoidance.”

Minho took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. He softened his tone even more, knowing that Thomas was only acting this way because he wasn’t feeling good. “Okay. I understand. But it’s obvious that you’re not okay, Thomas.”

“I’m never okay,” Thomas grumbled, refusing to meet Minho’s eyes. Minho sighed sadly. He didn’t get the opportunity to say something back before Thomas threw his bowl in the sink and left the house. He needed to breathe.

Thomas didn’t mind the rain. He let it engulf him, the warm water soaking his shirt and jeans. He checked his phone for the time, making sure that he had enough time for his walk before his evening shift. It wasn’t necessary, his shift was at five and it was ten in the morning. He continued his walk, not paying much attention to where he was going. He just let himself think. He wondered if Minho was right, that maybe Newt would be like Gally. Gally had been just like him in the beginning; kind, sweet, innocent. He would love Thomas, cuddling him and making him feel like he mattered. Gally had also given Thomas the best sex that Thomas had ever experienced. Thomas didn’t think it was possible for anyone to do better than Gally, in all aspects. But then as time went by, Gally had grown darker and more distant. They would fight, break up, have sex, get back together, and do it all over again. Minho wasn’t wrong about him cheating. Gally cheated on Thomas more times than Thomas could count. He even cheated on him with Teresa, without her knowing about their relationship, of course. Her and Thomas had made up since then. Gally was a tornado wrecking everything in his path, but he had also been Thomas’ one chance at a true romance, once upon a time.

Thomas’ train of thought was interrupted when a vibration in his back pocket startled him. Someone was calling. He stopped walking, pulling out his phone, and his heart nearly stopped at the name. It was Newt. He didn’t hesitate to answer.

“Hello?” He said, unsure.

“Hey Tommy,” Newt sounded surprisingly normal, no hint of sadness or a broken heart could be detected in his voice. “Listen, I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch with you. I want to make it up to you and I think we should talk,” he paused, “I understand if you can’t, but do you think you’d be able to meet me at the pizza place?”

Thomas was shaken, he couldn’t believe that Newt would just call him out of the blue after not talking for over a week and then ask him to meet up like that. He didn’t see any reason to say no though, so he agreed.

“Great. See you there.” With that, Newt hung up.

-

“You were right, Tommy,” Newt grinned, “Taking time for myself really did help, I feel a lot better.”

Thomas was sat across from him, as usual, his back hunched as he stared blankly at Newt. He was happy to hear that, but also felt somewhat exhausted by Newt’s lack of communication and he was tired of playing therapist. He managed a weak smile.

  
“That’s good to hear, Newt.”

Newt’s grin vanished and he set his elbows on the table, supporting his chin on his interlocked fingers. “Again, Tommy, I’m sorry that I haven’t called or texted you. I really wanted to, but it didn’t feel right at the time.”

“Yeah, I get it. You don’t have to apologize.”

Newt extended his arm and put his hand on Thomas’, causing Thomas’ heart to stutter. His hands were smooth and still cold like they had been on that fateful night.

“I do, Tommy. I should have at least told you that I wouldn’t be communicating. It wasn’t fair to you.” Now that was something that Gally never would have said. Thomas only nodded.

“So, what now?” Thomas asked cautiously. To his disappointment, Newt removed his hand.

“I want to know more about you. I feel like all we’ve ever done is talk about me.”

Thomas shoved his hands under the table and caved into himself. Besides the time at the river where they had talked for a while, Newt wasn’t wrong. His relationship with Rachel had gotten in the way of Thomas being able to share anything more about his life. He wasn’t sure if he really wanted to, though. Opening up wasn’t his forte.

“What do you want to know?”

“You mentioned something about knowing what it was like having to take time for yourself,” Newt smiled sheepishly at Thomas’ reddening cheeks, “So what’s the great story behind that?”

“It, uh, was nothing.”

“Come on Tommy, you have a habit of dismissing your own life as _nothing_. You don’t have to tell me anything that makes you uncomfortable, but could you at least give me some sort of anecdote?”

Thomas huffed, contemplating whether or not telling him about Gally would be a good idea. It only took him a moment before he gave in to his weak, tired, brain and began blabbering about the entire predicament.

“I met him at college. We had the same major,” he started, Newt listening closely. Thomas told him all about how Gally had been the one and then turned into something much, much less than that.

They sat together for a long time, Thomas telling Newt the tale of his last relationship, and Newt feeling a weight lifted off his shoulders. He was glad that Thomas wasn’t mad at him and that he could learn more about the boy who was beginning to steal his heart. But Newt didn’t want to admit it yet, just as Thomas had put off admitting his own crush on Newt. On the other hand, it felt wonderful for Thomas to lay out his issues with Gally, practically spitting them onto the table and allowing himself to be entirely truthful. Gally had hurt him to a point where he didn’t know if he could ever recover. It had been a year since their demise, but Thomas felt like he needed a decade, a lifetime.

“And then he moved away to Denver, thank god, so now I’ll never have to see his horrible face again,” Thomas finished.

“Wow,” Newt puffed up his cheeks and let them deflate, “That’s a lot. You said this all happened a year ago?” Thomas nodded.

“More or less."

“And taking time for yourself helped with all of… that?”

“More or less,” Thomas repeated, “It helped in the moment, but I don’t think anything could help long-term.”

Newt felt himself wanting to kiss Thomas again. He restrained himself, knowing that it wasn’t the appropriate time. He settled with patting Thomas’ hand that had reappeared on the table after his long rant and flashing him a sympathetic tight-lipped smile.

“I’m sorry he treated you that way, Tommy. You don’t deserve that at all.”

Thomas’ body grew warm at Newt’s compassion. Any feelings of frustration or irritation with him had completely vanished, and he found himself feeling completely infatuated with him once again. He wondered where their relationship would go, and if they would ever date. It seemed like they both shared the same fear and hesitation around making any more moves towards each other. Thomas had an inkling that this may take a while.

“Wanna come to my place?” Newt said, not really sure where he would go with that, but said it with confidence nonetheless. Thomas checked the time. It was nearly noon. He had time.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

Thomas learned that the pizza place was only a block away from Newt and Alby’s apartment. It was a two minute walk, simple as that. As Newt put his key in the lock and opened the door for Thomas to enter, he was met with the pleasant aroma of mint and rosemary. It smelled like Newt. He remembered it vaguely from when the blonde had pressed his body up against his in his bedroom, the dim lighting heightening his senses and there was only mint and rosemary and the chill of Newt’s fingertips.

The entrance led to a small living room that was connected to a kitchen. A cute bar table separated them, the tall chairs scooted in nicely. There was a comfy looking red couch facing a T.V., blankets strewn across it, several mugs scattered along the dark wood of the coffee table. The first impression that Thomas got from the place was pure coziness. Straight across from the front doorway was a little hallway with four doors, two on each side. They were all closed except for one, which stood ajar and Thomas could see that a light was on.

“Do you want some tea?” Newt asked, removing his jacket and shoes. Thomas followed suit.

“Oh! Sure, do you have chai?”

Newt smiled knowingly. “Of course I do. You seem like a chai kind of guy.”

“Hey, whatever keeps me awake.” Both boys laughed.

Thomas sat on the couch while Newt made the tea. Usually, he would feel extremely uncomfortable when he would first visit someone’s place. He would feel like he was intruding in some way, but at Newt’s there was a welcoming, homey feeling to it that erased any discomfort.

“Where’s Alby?” Thomas called from the couch.

“He’s at work. Won’t be home for a while.” Newt carried two mugs over and added them to the collection on the coffee table.

They talked quietly for a few minutes, sipping their tea every now and then. It felt comfortable, familiar. Thomas never wanted to leave for work. He wondered if Newt would give him a ride so he could save time from taking the bus and stay longer. Newt was sitting very close to him, their shoulders almost touching. Thomas wanted to lay his head in Newt’s lap and fall asleep. But he couldn’t, they weren’t dating. Right?

“I hate coffee,” Newt set his mug back on the table, having finished his tea, “It makes me too jittery and then I just crash.”

Thomas giggled, “Really? So all these mugs are just from tea then?”

“Yeah, I drink it every day. Keeps me healthy,” Newt jokingly showed off his arm muscles, as if it was caused by all the tea he drank. This made Thomas laugh and almost spit his tea out everywhere.

“Alright, enough tea for you caffeine boy,” Newt took his mug from him and he whined.

In response, Newt put a finger to Thomas’ lips and shushed him. “It’s okay, you can have more later,” he said in a mock-baby voice.

Thomas couldn’t take it. Newt was so pretty and warm and Thomas wanted to devour every inch of him. Before Newt could protest, Thomas had leaned forward and connected their lips once again. It somehow felt better than the last time, with Newt reciprocating almost immediately. Thomas wrapped his arms around Newt’s neck and before he knew it had fallen backwards onto the couch with Newt on top of him. It was all a flurry of passion and sloppy kisses on his lips, his cheek, and then his neck. Thomas hooked his fingers under the collar of Newt’s shirt as Newt bit down on a particularly sensitive spot, causing him to moan into Newt’s hair. _God, yes, please_ , Thomas thought desperately, still being extremely pent up and on the brink of going crazy from it.

Newt trailed kisses down to Thomas’ collarbone, his loose fitting shirt giving Newt easy access. Thomas laid an arm across his eyes, his head tilting back further with every move that Newt made on him. Newt lifted up Thomas’ shirt and gripped the bare skin of his hip, returning his lips to Thomas’. He slowly traced his fingers down until he found the button of the brunette’s jeans. He undid it, his kisses never wavering, and to Thomas’ immense delight slid his hand under the waistband of his boxers. Thomas felt Newt grip him in his strong hand, the sensation suddenly feeling new and different, as if nobody had ever done this to him before. He wondered if Newt had ever been with a guy; he seemed to know what he was doing.

Thomas broke the kiss with a groan as Newt moved his hand along his length, flicking his thumb over the tip. Thomas nearly came in that moment, his breaths shaky and his hips bucking up into Newt.

“Bloody hell, Tommy, you’re leaking already.” Thomas couldn’t even get embarrassed because what Newt was doing just felt too good. He was holding in all of the dirty noises that he was prone to making anytime anybody touched him like this, not wanting to expose himself to Newt too much. It was tough, Newt had quickened his pace.

“Fuck,” Thomas breathed, his eyes squeezed shut as Newt added to the sensations by licking up his neck.

He was so close, and he could feel the bulge in Newt’s pants pressing up against his leg. He felt the heat rise in his lower abdomen, his grip on Newt’s collar tightening, letting out a few grunts and some small noises in the back of his throat. A few more tugs was all he would need. One. He moaned, too loudly. Two. A key in the door but neither of them noticed. Three. An explosion of heat and ecstasy in his head, and on Newt’s hand, seeming to last an eternity. And then suddenly a hand over his mouth accompanied with a very terrified “ _Shit_ ”, and the sound of a bag dropping to the ground with a thud.

“Godammit, Newt, not on the fucking couch again!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna be really mean about this ending and have Alby walk in in the middle of their shenanigans, but I couldn't leave poor Thomas hanging like that. Anyway, comments are appreciated! Hope you like it :)


	5. Thunderstorm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Let’s invite Newt over for dinner on saturday!” Brenda shouted from the kitchen.
> 
> "Brenda, no." 
> 
> \--
> 
> Yes, Newt is afraid of thunder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow sorry for this really late update, I've had a busy week. Hope it's okay though!

It was a scene to remember. Alby standing in the doorway, a hard scowl plastered across his face. Thomas underneath Newt, his chest rising and falling heavily from post-orgasm bliss. Newt looking up at Alby with fear in his eyes, his hand tight over Thomas’ mouth, his other one still jammed into Thomas’ boxers.

Nobody knew exactly where to go from there. According to Alby’s words, this hadn’t been the first time the roommates had been in this position. Even with past experience, neither knew what to say. Thomas was the first to speak, ripping Newts hand from his mouth. 

“I-I uh, I gotta go to work,” his voice was shaky with humiliation. Newt slowly looked down at him. 

“I’ll drive you,” he said quietly. 

Alby eyeballed the two boys as they separated, Newt hiding his hand and hurriedly running to the bathroom. Thomas buttoned his pants and sat up on the couch as the sound of running water could be heard and Alby’s scowl never wavered. Thomas was dizzy with embarrassment. He had just crossed a line with Newt that he never thought he would cross, and here Alby was, completely destroying it. He also wasn’t too thrilled at learning that Newt had done this (most likely) with Rachel as well. 

When Newt returned, he pulled Thomas up by the arm, dragged him to the door, grabbed his car keys, and uttered a quick “sorry” to Alby as they left. 

Thomas was surprised when Newt suddenly burst out laughing as he turned the key in his car and started the engine. It was a genuine, sweet laugh, one that Thomas had never heard before. While he wanted nothing more than to listen to Newt’s unique and lovely laugh, he was very confused. 

“Newt? Why are you laughing?”

Newt took a deep breath and tried to slow himself. “S-sorry Tommy, it’s just-the look on Alby’s face, and the whole situation in general-it’s just really funny to me, that’s all,” he let out some last few chuckles and finally calmed down. 

Thomas didn’t know whether to be glad that Newt hadn’t taken the situation too seriously or upset. He settled somewhere in between and didn’t respond to what Newt had said, looking out the window.

“Hey, we should probably talk about what happened, yeah?” Newt said softly, placing a hand on Thomas’. Thomas looked down at his lap and nodded. “You okay there, buddy?”

Thomas slowly lifted his head to meet Newt’s eyes. “I don’t want this to be like Gally.”

His words stabbed Newt in the heart. Thomas looked so sad and helpless as he said them, and Newt knew that he was afraid. Newt was afraid too. He wanted to console Thomas, to tell him that he would never even dream of treating him like Gally did, that he wasn’t like that. But he was scared that Thomas would think that he was confessing some type of love for him. He didn’t think that he loved Thomas yet and he definitely didn’t want to end up breaking his heart. 

“Oh, Tommy…” Newt sighed and held Thomas’ warm hand, “I’m not Gally, okay? But I do think that maybe we should take things slow, y’know? Not jump into anything too soon, yeah?” 

“Okay,” Thomas smiled at him, causing Newt’s body to fill with inner warmth. 

Newt smiled back and drove out of the apartment’s parking garage. Thomas was grateful that Newt was driving him because he didn’t think he had the physical or emotional energy to walk and bus there. They made it just in time for his shift, Newt giving Thomas’ hand one last squeeze before he got out of the car and headed inside. 

Thomas had to do some breathing exercises in the bathroom mirror before facing the few customers he had. For some reason he felt like crying, but he wasn’t sure why. He managed to stop it, but continued to feel somewhat miserable throughout his work day. He kept thinking about what had happened with Newt and what Newt had said to him. All of it made his head spin, but he knew that one thing was for sure. He was falling in love with Newt. 

-

“Let’s invite Newt over for dinner on saturday!” Brenda shouted from the kitchen. 

Thomas’ eyes grew wide as he got up from his desk and made his way towards where she was. He found her stirring a pot of some sort of soup for lunch, humming happily to herself. She began talking before Thomas could say anything, somehow sensing his presence. 

“I think it would be a lovely idea.”

“Brenda, no,” Thomas ran his fingers through his hair from the kitchen doorway, leaning against the wall, “Saturday is when we go to the pizza place.” 

“Oh come on, Thomas, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind having some real food for once.”

“What? Newt loves pizza! And so do I!” Thomas scowled at her as she looked over her shoulder at him. 

“I know you do. Tell him to be here by six.” And that was that. Once Brenda set her mind to something, there was no changing it. Newt would come over for dinner on saturday at six. 

Thomas huffed and reluctantly pulled out his phone. 

**Brenda is making me invite u over for dinner on saturday. Humor her please?**

Newt’s reply was fast as ever. 

**Are you kidding? I’ll never turn down free food. What time?**

**Six**

**Great, I’ll be there ;)**

Thomas stared at the small winking face on his screen and felt his cheeks become hot. He shook his head and put his phone back in his pocket. As he returned to his current collage, he prayed that his friends would keep the embarrassment to a minimum when Newt came over. 

-

A knock at the door sent Thomas flying to open it before anyone else could. He had been waiting all day, anxiously pacing the hallway and biting his nails to stubs. Brenda had spent the past two hours preparing her famous chicken pot pies and setting their small, four person table. Minho, well, he had only woken up an hour ago, and hadn’t gotten out of bed until he heard Thomas run to get the door. 

“Hey Tommy, I brought some wine. That okay?” Of course Newt would bring wine. He seemed to be the kind of person who preferred the fancy side of things. 

“Of course, thanks,” Thomas led him inside and shut the door behind him. 

“It smells wonderful in here,” Newt said, entering the kitchen. Brenda turned to look at him from where she was pulling dinner out of the oven. 

“Thank you very much, Newt. I made it all myself,” Brenda said in a very matter-of-fact tone, causing Newt to chuckle.  

Thomas set the wine on the table and opened the cupboards to grab some glasses for it. He watched Newt out of the corner of his eye as the blonde boy examined their kitchen. Once the table was set with Brenda’s dinner and the wine, Minho finally making his way out of his room to meet with everyone, they all sat down and plunged into some very friendly conversation. That is, until Minho decided to have some fun. 

“So, are you guys, like, a thing now?” Minho asked through a mouthful of food. Thomas and Newt looked at each other, each with their mouths open and stuttering for an answer. 

“Uh-”

“Well, see-”

“Um, no-”

“Not, uh, not really,” Thomas finally got out. Brenda and Minho both gave them hard stares. 

“You sure about that?” Minho specifically aimed his glance at Thomas. 

“It’s,” Thomas sighed, not wanting to admit what he was about to say, “complicated.” 

“Right,” Minho continued his eating. There was silence for a moment. 

“Seems simple to me,” Brenda suddenly spoke, her words causing all three boys to look at her in shock. She looked up, “What? You guys obviously like each other. I mean, why do you think I had Thomas invite you over, Newt?” 

Thomas cleared his throat. He could feel Newts gaze burning into him. “We’re not talking about this right now, okay guys?” 

Brenda rolled her eyes but dropped the subject nonetheless. 

The rest of the dinner was saved by Newt telling a particularly hilarious story about an incident at his job. All the while, the summer rain had begun again and was intensifying by the minute. None of them really noticed it, except Thomas. He had been paying attention to the way it pounded on the roof and sounded like a hundred horses galloping across it. 

“Thanks for dinner, really, it was lovely,” Newt told Brenda after they had cleaned up. 

“Aw, Newt, I’m always down to make dinner for a friend.” 

Just then, a clap of thunder shook the house and made everyone jump. The window in the living room lit up with a flash of lightning, followed by another monstrous boom. A storm had begun, and it was right on top of them. They had all been standing in the hallway about to send Newt off. 

Thomas noticed Newt tense up and then immediately force himself to relax at the loud noise. He wondered if Newt was one of those thunder-fearing people. Thomas didn’t get it, he thought it was cool, and it wasn’t like it could hurt you anyway. He kind of wanted to hug the other boy in that moment and comfort him but it vanished when he told himself that Newt probably had his own ways of dealing with it. 

“Shit,” Newt said under his breath, crossing his arms and swinging his keys around his finger. Brenda, being the wonderful host she was, caught on and came up with a solution. 

“Hey, Newt? That storm is rough out there and I’m sure we would all could sleep better knowing that you won’t die on your way home,” she said softly, “Why don’t you stay the night?” 

“Oh, I really wouldn’t wanna impose,” Newt said nervously, swaying his body side to side. Thomas could tell that he hoped Brenda would push him. Luckily, Brenda could tell too. 

“Come on, we don’t mind at all.”

“Yeah, you can crash on the couch man,” Minho chimed in, obviously not picking up on the situation but being okay with it nonetheless. 

“Okay, if you insist,” Newt chuckled and scratched his head. He glanced at Thomas, who gave him a reassuring smile. 

Ten minutes later they had made a bed for Newt on the couch and Minho and Brenda went their own ways. The rain continued to pound and the thunder and lightning hadn’t let up either. Newt was sitting backwards in Thomas’ desk chair and Thomas was sitting on his bed, his back against the headboard. They were chatting quietly about Thomas’ weird taste in literature when the thunder hit again. Newt jolted in the chair, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the back of it. 

“Newt?” Thomas said gently, leaning forward. 

“W-what?” Newt whipped his head towards Thomas, his chest rising and falling fast.

“You okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” 

Thomas grinned. “You’re afraid of thunder.” 

“What? No I’m not!”

Thomas raised an eyebrow at him. Newt huffed and rolled his eyes. 

“Okay, fine. It’s-it’s a childhood thing,” he ran his fingers through his hair, “My parents used to leave me and my sister home alone when we were young, and one time there was this big thunderstorm that knocked a tree into my room.” 

“Shit, Newt-”

“We were okay, of course, we were in Sonya’s room, but we had to wait a long time for my parents to come home. A neighbor had called the police and they took us in for a while. It was kind of traumatizing,” he laughed a little to relieve the intensity of his story. “I couldn’t sleep alone during thunderstorms after that. Neither could Sonya.” 

“God, Newt, that’s scary. I don’t blame you for hating them after that.” 

Newt shrugged, but nearly fell out of the chair as more thunder erupted. Thomas couldn’t stand seeing him like this and knew that Newt wouldn’t make it through the night alone on the couch. He took a deep breath, hoping that he wouldn’t be crossing a line with the question he was about to ask.

“Hey, why don’t you stay with me tonight?” 

Newt looked grateful at Thomas’ suggestion, not even showing any hints of discomfort. “That would be great, thanks.” 

Newt got up from the desk chair and immediately got comfortable under Thomas’ covers, pulling them up to his chin. Thomas was bewildered at how Newt didn’t hesitate at all. He guessed it was the fear controlling him. Thomas pulled the covers over himself too and reached to turn off the light. 

“Wait!” Newt stopped him, pulling on his shirt. Thomas looked down at him in question. “Um, let’s just… keep it on for a bit, yeah?” 

“Oh, sure.” Thomas settled back into his bed. He felt a little awkward with Newt laying next to him in his own bed, but was eased by Newt’s lack of unease. 

“Tommy?” 

“Yeah?” 

Newt turned to his side. “You smell good.” 

Thomas giggled, “What? I mean, thanks?” 

“Yeah,” Newt smiled cutely, “you smell like warmth and cabin fires.” 

Thomas’ heart screamed at how adorable Newt was. His face peeking out of the covers and his fluff of blonde hair sitting across his forehead. He wanted to scoop him up and kiss his rosy cheeks. He shook the thought away.

“Huh, interesting. Well, you smell like mint and rosemary,” Thomas scooted down so his head was level with Newt’s. Newt’s eyes grew wide.

“What? I do not!” 

“Yeah, you do, and it’s actually very nice.” 

“You think so?”

“Mhm.” 

Newt buried his mouth under the blankets and squinted at Thomas. He was about to say something when he was interrupted by the thunder and more lightning. Suddenly, Thomas felt a warm presence latch onto his middle and silky hair brush his chin. Thomas instinctively snaked his arms around him and pulled him closer. 

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” Thomas whispered into Newt’s hair. He could feel Newt’s speedy heartbeat against his own chest. Newt didn’t say anything, he just squeezed Thomas desperately and shoved his face into Thomas’ shirt. After a few minutes, Newt pulled away slightly. 

“I-I’m sorry Tommy, I didn’t mean to-”

“Newt, it’s okay, don’t worry about it,” Thomas grabbed Newt’s hand and squeezed it. Cold fingers, as usual. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Of course, I’m right here all night.” 

Newt hesitated before getting close to Thomas again, gripping his shirt in anticipation. 

“Do you think it’ll stop soon?” Newt barely whispered. 

“I don’t know, but you should try to sleep anyway, okay?” Thomas put his fingers in Newt’s hair, almost dying at how soft it really was. Newt nodded and steadied his breathing as Thomas used his other hand to rub circles into Newt’s back. 

As Thomas felt Newt slowly fall asleep against his chest, he wondered if this meant anything. Newt had wanted to take things slow. Cuddling in bed during a thunderstorm didn’t seem very slow to Thomas, but Newt only needed comforting. Did this count as jumping into something? Thomas wanted to try to work things out in his head before the next morning, but Newt’s calming aura and comforting body heat seemed to be lulling Thomas’ eyes closed and causing his heart to slow. 

And for the first time since Gally broke his heart, Thomas was asleep before three in the morning . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Out of all the people who could have a super cliche fear, Newt would definitely be one of them, don't you think? So would Thomas. They're both just sweet little babes on the inside.


	6. All at Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tension was outstanding. They were sat on Newt’s couch again, Alby obviously out doing who knows what. They hadn’t been able to say anything since they had gotten into Newt’s car. The silence stretched on and on until it felt nearly impossible to penetrate. Thomas was a ticking time bomb, ready to explode at any given second. Newt was a nervous wreck, his brain hosting an all out war between emotions. Thomas needed action, and Newt needed to just make a damn decision.
> 
> \--
> 
> Everything happens in one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is kind of a mess of emotional stuff and smut. I think it's just me coping with the stuff I've been dealing with lately. Anyway, sorry if it's all over the place and it's a bit short! Hope you like it!

It began with a desperate and breathy awakening from an already forgotten nightmare. Thomas jolted awake, nearly jumping out of his bed, covered in sweat and shaking uncontrollably. He whipped his head around in confusion, not understanding what had just happened. Standing there for a moment, he remembered that he had been sleeping. He often didn’t remember actually falling asleep, as it happened at random and he couldn’t control it. Sleeping with Newt was the first and only time in a while that he had been conscious of the exact time that he had begun to drift off. It was now the Monday after that had taken place and Thomas was right back where he started. 

He was thankful that he had the day off. He wasn’t sure if he was in a good enough emotional state to deal with whiny customers. The nightmare and rattling awakening had put him off a bit; he didn’t feel quite right and he knew the feeling wasn’t going away. He decided then, in his unstable state, that he needed to see Newt. 

-

Thomas stood outside the big, fancy Italian restaurant with his hands shaking and his breath coming out in spurts. He tried to calm himself, knowing that it would be important for him to maintain his composure. He had texted Teresa to text Alby to get the location of Newt’s workplace. Thomas was not going to let that awkward exchange go to waste. Taking one last deep breath, he finally opened the doors and stepped inside. 

He couldn’t believe his luck. Newt was standing just a few feet away from him, clearing the plates from an empty table. He ignored the “Table for one?” from the woman in front of him and bolted towards Newt. 

“Newt!” 

Newt looked up in surprise, which morphed into confusion when he recognized that it was Thomas. 

“Tommy, what are you-"

“Newt please we need to talk,” Thomas was panting at this point, his anxiety skyrocketing. 

“Tommy, I’m working. Can we maybe talk after my shift?” Newt set the stack of dirty plates he was holding back on the table and wiped his hands on his apron. 

“N-no I need to talk to you right now,” Thomas’ words came out all at once and Newt put a hand on his shoulder, suddenly becoming concerned about the sweaty looking boy. 

“Okay, calm down, breathe. I only have an hour left. Can you just-”

Newt stopped when he felt Thomas squeeze his arm to steady himself. The poor boy looked as if he was having some sort of breakdown. Thomas wasn’t sure what exactly was going on, but he sure felt like he was having one. 

“Tommy? Tommy what’s wrong?” Newt held Thomas carefully by the waist. People were starting to look at them. 

“I- I, uh, I d-don’t know,” Thomas felt his fingers begin to tingle with numbness and his head was mush. He blinked a few times, trying to regain his composure, but his breathing only quickened and his body was starting to tremble. 

“Newt what’s happening to me, Newt help,” Thomas’ voice was completely panicked and he looked up into Newt’s eyes, pleading for him to do something. 

Then it clicked. Newt had seen this before with his sister. She had only had them a few times because of stress overload at school, but he could see that all the telltale signs were there. Thomas was having a panic attack. 

“Tommy, you’re gonna be okay. I’m gonna take you to the back now. Just trust me, everything's okay,” Newt said it softly and held Thomas’ hand as he led him back towards the break room. 

Thomas was certain that he was dying at this point. There were boulders on his lungs and his throat was being tied shut with a scratchy rope. His thoughts were blocked by an overwhelming sense of impending doom; this was for sure the end. He couldn’t see straight, where was he? Why had he come here? The whole world was a spinning mess and Thomas didn’t think that it would ever stop. But then he saw Newt’s familiar face and reached out towards him, desperate for something to hold on to. Newt took his hands and sat him down, kneeling in front of him. 

“Tommy, I need you to take some breaths okay? Can you do that for me?” Thomas nodded and did his best to breathe deeply. 

“Am I dying?” Thomas gasped, “I feel like I’m dying. Newt I feel sick,” Thomas felt bile rise in his throat but it was too tight to come out so he gagged. 

“No, silly, you’re okay. You’re just having a little panic attack is all,” Newt smiled gently and squeezed his hands, “That’s it, just breathe. Everything is gonna be okay.” 

Newt breathed with him, rubbing small circles into his hands. Thomas wanted to cry, but he felt as if he had forgotten how to. He tried to take some deep breaths but they barely came out. Newt was there all the while, talking to him calmly and keeping his touch consistent.  After a couple minutes Thomas was finally able to regain feeling in his fingers and he felt some weight lifted off his chest. The nausea subsided and his throat loosened. He remembered where he was and why he had gone there, but didn’t really understand what had happened to him. 

“Why…?” Thomas trailed off, confusion making his head spin.

Newt furrowed his eyebrows at him, leaning in close to his face and examining his eyes. He noted the purple splotches underneath them and lifted a hand to trace the puffiness on his cheek bones. Thomas shivered at the feeling of Newt’s chilly fingers on his burning hot cheeks. Newt tilted his head to the side, a look of sadness and pity replacing his concern. 

“Tommy, you really need to get some more sleep. The stress of your sleep deprivation is probably what caused this.” 

Thomas sighed, letting go of Newt’s hand and rubbing his temples as he evened his breathing. 

“Yeah, I know. I just… it’s really hard for me. Ever since Gally. I haven’t gotten a normal night of sleep since,” He looked away from Newt’s kind gaze, “Well, except for the other night.” 

Newt chuckled. Thomas was really, really cute. Too cute. 

“You mean when I was sleeping with you?” 

“Um, yeah,” Thomas’ cheeks turned red at that, but he was also reminded with the reason why he was there in the first place. 

“Newt, I really like you,” He looked back at Newt, determined, “I like you so much. I don’t know how much longer I can handle… this.” 

Thomas found himself a bit lost for words. He thought that he had more to say, but he couldn’t find anything else. Thankfully, Newt spoke next. 

“Tommy… I really like you too. But…” 

Thomas sighed in annoyance. “But what?” 

“I just- I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m ready for that. I’m scared.” Newt stood up and backed away slightly from Thomas. 

“Well I am, too, Newt. I mean shit- you know all the crap I’ve been through,” Thomas raised his voice a bit, throwing his hands around to emphasize his impatience, “But we obviously have something going on, right? Can’t we just try?” 

Both boys jumped with a start when the door to the break room was slammed open and a woman with blonde hair pulled back into a bun and a white apron tied hastily around her waist came rushing through. 

“Newt, what are you doing? You can’t just disappear like that,” She crossed her arms and eyed Thomas. 

“I’m sorry, Ava. My… friend here isn’t feeling good and I was really concerned about him.” 

“Yeah, he looks like death,” Ava commented. Thomas would have been offended but he knew she was right. 

“Look, do you think I could leave early? I only have less than an hour left and I really need to get him home.” Newt gestured towards Thomas who tried to make it a point to look more miserable than he actually was. 

Ava sighed and looked between the two boys. She hummed and recrossed her arms, tapping her foot on the floor. 

“Alright, sure. But only because you’re my favorite,” She gave Newt a wink and spun on her heels, letting the door slam again behind her on her way out. 

“Come on, let’s go to my place. We can continue this conversation there,” Newt held out a hand to Thomas, “You feeling okay?” 

“Yeah, I think so,” Thomas took his hand and wobbled slightly when he stood up. The feeling of Newt’s hands on his waist again to steady him lit a bit of a fire in his stomach, but he ignored it. “Let’s go.” 

-

The tension was outstanding. They were sat on Newt’s couch again, Alby obviously out doing who knows what. They hadn’t been able to say anything since they had gotten into Newt’s car. The silence stretched on and on until it felt nearly impossible to penetrate. Thomas was a ticking time bomb, ready to explode at any given second. Newt was a nervous wreck, his brain hosting an all out war between emotions. Thomas needed action, and Newt needed to just make a damn decision. 

A knife cutting through the thick air, Newt tried to talk, “Okay, so, uh.”

Thomas looked over at Newt, and in a flash he moved and got on top of him, straddling him tightly. Newt’s hands instinctively went to Thomas’ waist, and Thomas draped his own hands around Newt’s neck. They stared at each other for a long moment, the tension now a tiny thread between their lips. 

“Fuck it.” 

Newt pulled Thomas by the hair and trapped him in a heavy kiss, feeling Thomas sigh in relief as they devoured each others mouths. It was a mutual hunger; their hands all over each other’s bodies, tugging at fabric and heat rising quickly. Newt pulled away when a small moan escaped Thomas’ throat. 

“Tommy, we can’t do this on the couch again.” 

Thomas nodded and they got up and somewhat made their way to Newt’s room, hands roaming and mouths sloppily connecting all the while. Newt slammed the door behind them and yanked Thomas’ shirt off, pushing him back onto the bed. He landed on top of him, his hands on either side and his hair falling in front of his face. 

“Shit, Tommy. You are beautiful,” Newt grinned, admiring Thomas’ perfect build and pale skin. 

“Shut up and fuck me,” Thomas growled, hands on Newt’s ass and hips grinding up into the blonde. Newt let out a breath and smiled again. 

“Someone is still so pent up, hm?” He kissed Thomas’ neck, sucking only slightly to tease him, “I know what you want.” 

Newt sat up and unbuttoned Thomas’ jeans slowly, tauntingly. Thomas groaned in frustration but Newt took his time nonetheless. He pulled them down along with Thomas’ boxers, revealing the result of all the tension. 

“Newt,” Thomas whined, “Just do it, please.” 

Newt bit his lip and leaned down, bringing his tongue to the tip and giving it a slow lick. Thomas threw his head back and groaned again, gripping the sheets until his knuckles turned white. 

“F-fuck,” Thomas squirmed under Newt’s touch, the blonde boy’s hands holding down Thomas’ hips to keep him steady. 

Newt wrapped his left hand around the base and without warning took the rest into his mouth. He moaned around it, feeling his own arousal becoming painful. The vibrations sent Thomas into a frenzy of noises that only worsened Newt’s pain. Newt did his best to ignore it and continued to suck at Thomas without pause. 

“Newt- fuck- how do you- ah!- know how to do this- mm…” Thomas grabbed at Newt’s hair, making Newt’s situation even more dire (he loved that kind of thing). 

Newt lifted his head up and wiped his mouth to speak- but only for a moment, “Before Rachel, it was Winston.” 

Thomas couldn’t respond because Newt had resumed his position on top of him and was kissing him hard now. Thomas reached down and groped Newt, making Newt falter. 

“C-careful, Tommy,” Thomas groped further. 

The desperation from both boys was intense, and within a matter of seconds Newt’s pants and boxers were on the floor and he was up on his knees, Thomas leaned over and returning the favor of sucking him off as well. Newt panted and his eyes fluttered as he relished the feeling of Thomas’ tongue licking all around him and his warm mouth taking him in. 

“Mmm Tommy stop,” Newt pulled his head away by his hair and Thomas looked up at him in all his submissive glory, his mouth wet with spit, “God you’re adorable.”

“W-what?” Thomas said, confused. 

“I’m ready to fuck you,” Newt shoved two fingers into Thomas’ mouth and Thomas proceeded to suck them without hesitation. Newt then pulled them out and pushed Thomas onto his back again. 

“Ready?” Newt gripped Thomas’ thigh and he nodded vigorously. 

Suddenly Newt’s fingers were in him and he attempted to move against them. Newt had hit his spot on the first try and he was writhing against the sheets to gain more friction. Newt only went in and out a few times before he gave up on containing himself and replaced them with his aching dick. 

“A-ah- shit,” Thomas breathed heavily while he adjusted to Newt. It had been so long since he had done this and he was a little tight because of it. “Newt… gentle, please.” 

Newt leaned forward and kissed Thomas on his forehead, brushing his hand down Thomas’ cheek and smiling sweetly. He waited for Thomas to signal that he was ready for movement and started to go in and out slowly. 

The sex went from raging hunger to slow and loving just like that. Newt watched Thomas underneath him, eyes tracing his jawline to his lips, and he was feeling the warmth of some almost unfamiliar feeling bubble up inside him along with the arousal of the warmth of Thomas around him. Thomas had his eyes closed, small noises being emitted from his throat once again. He clenched and unclenched Newt’s sides and felt up his back, his nails digging in whenever Newt would hit his good spot. It was quiet but oh so loud; they spoke with their actions as they pleasured each other equally and confirmed their mutual attraction. 

The overall feeling that the two boys were sharing pulsated between them, the careful blossoming of a newfound love bringing them both to climax. They held onto each other, clinging to each other’s moans and shaky breaths, and then collapsing together and placing soft kisses all over their sweaty bodies.

“Okay, Tommy, you win.” 

“What?”

Newt took his hand and intertwined their fingers. He turned his head to face Thomas who looked at him in question. “I’ll be with you, okay? But only because you’re so bloody cute and I can barely keep my hands off you.” 

Thomas didn’t really know what to say, but he felt his whole body finally relax and melted into Newt’s side. “Okay,” Thomas smiled and put his lips on Newt’s. 

"Now you are going to get some good sleep, alright? I'll be right here with you all night," Newt threaded his fingers through Thomas' hair, the action bringing fatigue and comfort to Thomas. He nodded.

Newt pulled the covers over them and Thomas closed his eyes, reminding himself that he was, in fact, falling asleep, and knowing that he would definitely remember it in the morning.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the next chapter will be longer and contain more substance, thank you to everyone who reads it! :-)


	7. Thorns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt breathed deeply and felt the collar of his shirt become a little too tight as their destination came into view. The shiny silver gate of the entrance was all he needed to realize that yes, Thomas was taking him there. That place that held too many painful memories that he still hadn’t been able to wipe from his mind, or better yet conceal.
> 
> \--
> 
> Flower garden date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Truth is, I'm lazy and stressed. But here is a sweet and pure chapter for you!

It took a whole week of planning. Thomas had made sure that Newt knew nothing about it and planned everything all on his own. Thomas wanted to surprise Newt with a sweet and fun date that Thomas knew he would love (it involved the outdoors). It was two weeks after they had officially begun their relationship, and Thomas was even deeper in love than he had thought. He wanted to be next to Newt every second of every day. He wanted to make him the happiest boy in the world. Thomas loved Newt more than any other partner he had had before.

Saturday came and Thomas and Newt were sitting hand in hand on the train that would lead to Thomas’ surprise. Thomas had told Newt that he just wanted to go for a little ride with him and, Newt being the lovely boyfriend that he was, agreed to it. He loved seeing Thomas happy, and if this was what made him happy then so be it.

“Newt I gotta tell you something,” Thomas turned to Newt when they were just two stops away from their destination.

“Yeah?” Newt looked at Thomas, a hint of concern flashing across his gaze.

Thomas couldn’t help but share his secret, only partly of course, “I have a surprise for you, okay?” He squeezed Newt’s hand, “I’m taking you somewhere special, but you don’t get to know until we get there,” he could barely contain his excitement.

Newt almost cried at how thoughtful and adorable Thomas was in that moment. Nobody had ever planned a random surprise for him in his whole life. And here was Thomas, Newt’s boyfriend for no more than two weeks, taking Newt somewhere special just for the heck of it.

“Newt? Are you okay?” Thomas suddenly became worried that maybe Newt didn’t like surprises, that maybe he shouldn’t have done this at all.

“Yes, yes of course I’m okay,” Newt smiled reassuringly, “Tommy, you are way too kind and sweet,” Newt leaned over and kissed Thomas on the forehead, “I’m sure whatever it is, I’ll love it.”

Thomas was relieved, but his stomach bubbled with anxiety as they got closer and closer to the stop. He began to doubt that he had chosen a decent place for Newt and was worried that he wouldn’t like it. Newt could tell that Thomas was nervous, so he kissed him on the cheek and said, “Hey, I promise that I’ll love it.”

The rails squealed to a halt and the train dinged as they finally reached Thomas’ desired stop. Newt got an inkling that Thomas would be taking him somewhere familiar, but pushed it to the side. He didn’t want to think about that right now. He laced his fingers through Thomas’ clammy ones and they exited the train together.

Newt breathed deeply and felt the collar of his shirt become a little too tight as their destination came into view. The shiny silver gate of the entrance was all he needed to realize that yes, Thomas was taking him there. That place that held too many painful memories that he still hadn’t been able to wipe from his mind, or better yet conceal. He tried his best to collect himself and put on an act for Thomas, but Thomas was smarter than that and stopped in his tracks when he noticed Newt’s reaction.

“Oh no- oh no oh no oh no,” Thomas let go of Newt’s hand and tugged at his hair, “Newt I’m sorry- you don’t like it- this was stupid we can just go-”

Newt moved fast, wanting to reassure Thomas as soon as he could. He hushed Thomas and gently took his wrists and brought the shaky boy’s hands back to his sides.

“Tommy it’s okay,” Newt smiled and brushed a strand of hair out of Thomas’ face, “Truth is, this was my favorite place in the whole world at one point, so you did good.”

“But…?”

Newt sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and shifting his gaze towards a bush of hydrangeas.

“But… this was where Rachel and I would go. It was kinda like… our place or something? We had a lot of fights here too.” Newt felt horrible as he watched Thomas’ face contort into a panic-stricken expression. His cheeks were on fire and his eyes were ready to put it out.

“Oh my god, we can go home, I’m so sorry Newt-”

Newt cut him off. He had begun to hyperventilate and Newt couldn’t help but chuckle, “Tommy, breathe, okay? It’s really no big deal. Actually-” He held Thomas’ hands gently and leaned over to kiss his forehead, speaking softly, “I think this was a wonderful idea, and I am so touched that you brought me here. Somehow, you managed to find my favorite place in the world without even knowing it.”

“But Rachel?”

“I associate this place with bad memories, but you can help me reverse that, okay?”

Thomas breathed and leaned in close to Newt, smelling his shirt mixed with the overwhelming scent of flowers all around them. He was sure that he didn’t deserve someone as lovely and kind as him, but Newt could say the same about Thomas. Thomas adjusted the heavy backpack that he had been lugging around since they left and squeezed Newt’s hand, giving him an adorable smile.

“Okay, I can do that. Let’s go.”

The flower garden proved to be even more beautiful than Thomas could have ever imagined. He found it with the help of Minho, who had been to every tourist attraction around town and beyond (they were very good places for dates). He thought that it would impress Newt, but he found that he was the one who was awestruck at the sight.

“It’s perfect, isn’t it?” Newt mumbled as they walked together along the stone pathway, ducking under cherry blossoms and stopping every few feet to smell something new.

“It’s… gorgeous,” Thomas whispered, earning a smug glance from Newt.

“You’re gorgeous,” Newt sang.

“Hey, shut up, there’s no way you can compare me to all this beauty,” Thomas gestured to the rainbow of flowers before them.

“No, you shut up, you are gorgeous and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it, okay?” Newt bit his lip and giggled as Thomas turned to him and scowled.

“I am not.”

“You,” Newt suddenly pulled Thomas close, taking him by surprise and putting his lips by Thomas’ ear, “are more beautiful than any flower in this garden, or all of them combined for that matter.”

Thomas barely had time to blush before Newt put their lips together seductively, giving Thomas’ bottom lip a small bite before parting. Thomas staggered backwards, touching his fingers to his lips. Newt grinned at him and kept walking.

“God, Newt. You’re too much,” he said it under his breath before moving to catch up with him.

Once they made it to a certain clearing, Thomas stopped Newt and pulled a small blanket out of his backpack.

“Oh my god, Thomas. You did not,” Newt laughed and helped him lay it out on the grass.

“Okay, so we have some sandwiches, courtesy of Brenda,” Thomas began taking out tupperwares for their picnic, “Some grapes, chips, and, of course,” he revealed a tall, red bottle from the bottom of his bag, “fancy wine, which we will drink from the bottle since I forgot cups.”

Thomas spread everything out on the blanket as Newt watched in amazement. Thomas was a pure romantic; collages and all. He loved him for it.

“Tommy, I love you so much,” Newt gave his boyfriend a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. Thomas blushed, of course.

“I love you too, Newt. Hopefully you know that by the effort I put in here,” Thomas laughed, followed by Newt, and the two boys sat down and started their meal.

“Do you ever think about having kids?” Thomas asked suddenly, causing Newt to choke on his sandwich.

“What?” Newt sipped the wine to clear his throat, raising an eyebrow at Thomas, who shrugged.

“I dunno, just something I think about a lot,” he crossed his legs underneath him and picked at some grass. Newt sighed and thought for a moment.

“Sure. Why not? I think I’d make a great dad,” Newt chuckled but stopped when he saw that Thomas wasn’t smiling. The brown haired boy continued to stare at the ground and pick the grass mindlessly.

“Would you ever wanna have kids with me?” Thomas said quietly, so quietly that Newt almost had to ask him to repeat himself.

Newt had to think carefully about his answer. A long time ago he had imagined himself with Rachel, babies in their arms and a cute little blue house to call their own. That image was blasted far away at some point and he hadn’t thought about a future like that since. He looked over at Thomas, with whom he had only been with for two weeks, and thought about how this love was different from all the others. It felt right; permanent. Sure, they were only in their honeymoon phase and things always felt this way, but they were getting older and Newt thought that maybe starting a life with someone wouldn’t be so bad. Especially if that someone was Thomas.

Newt had taken longer than he had planned to think about his answer. Thomas was beginning to get nervous and started to say that it was a silly question, but Newt answered before he got carried away.

“You know what? Yeah. I think having kids with you would be lovely.”

Thomas peeked up through his hair to look at Newt. The sun made it hard to see his face, but Thomas could make out the glimmer of his eyes and the rosiness of his cheeks and knew that he was serious.

“I think we’d make perfect dads,” Thomas said, taking a sip of the wine as well.

“Tommy,” Newt leaned forward so he could see Thomas better and put a hand on his, “Thank you, again, for bringing me here. I think you’ve done a great job of clearing my head of those bad memories.”

Thomas knew it was a joke, but it made his heart grow and his head spin with joy. He just wanted to make Newt happy, and that’s exactly what he had done that day. He didn’t know how to respond, but he didn’t need to because Newt leaned closer and kissed him lightly. They were warm and nothing else existed but them in that moment. It was then that Thomas knew that this love would be anything but fleeting.

-

“You asked him WHAT?” Minho shouted from his bedroom, obviously eavesdropping on his conversation with Brenda.

Thomas sighed loudly and responded, “If you want to be a part of this conversation, you have to come here.”

His reply was followed by a loud groan and some thumping noises and then a frazzled looking Minho appearing in the kitchen doorway. He slumped down in the chair next to Brenda and put his chin on his hand, waving at Thomas to continue.

“Anyway, so yes, I asked him if he would ever want to have kids with me and he said he would.”

“Thomas, you guys have been together for- what, two weeks? -and you took his answer seriously?” Brenda seemed genuinely concerned about this situation.

“Yeah, that’s… stupid,” Minho said bluntly. Thomas rolled his eyes at both of them.

“What does it matter if I took it seriously or not? It’s not like we’re just gonna go out and get some kids tomorrow,” Thomas let his palms fall onto the table, “Look, this feels… different, okay? I think that Newt is… special.”

“Like how Gally was special? Or Jonas? Olivia?” Minho scoffed.

“Would you stop listing off my exes- no, not like any of them. I never saw any future with those guys- even Gally- but with Newt…” He ran his fingers through his hair, accepting that he would never get through to them. He felt a hand pat his head.

“Sorry, Thomas. We’re just giving you shit,” Minho softened his tone.

“Yeah, we get it. Honestly, he seems to be really good for you,” Brenda added, “We know the patterns. We saw them in Gally and your week long rebounds. With Newt, it’s all clear. He makes you happy, and he makes you sleep. He’s good.”

“You guys really think so?”

Minho and Brenda nodded confidently. Thomas felt relief wash over him. His friends’ approval always came first, they knew him better than he knew himself. He had every sign pointing in one direction now. And that direction was Newt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be one more chapter, but knowing my inability to update regularly, I'm not sure when I'll get it done. I hope you like this one though, comments always appreciated!


	8. End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A happy ending for the happy boys :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here it is. Sorry for the wait! I actually kind of retired from writing fanfiction and wasn't sure if I'd ever post the last chapter to this story! I had one started and I got pretty far into it before realizing that it wasn't going how I wanted it to and I just wasn't into it. I started a pretty big chapter of my life recently and lost interest in writing as a whole for a bit, but I suddenly had an idea for the best way to end this story and wrote it out pretty quick! I like the short and sweet end best, I hope it's not too disappointing but hey, at least I finally got around to it!

He didn’t want to admit it, but he was feeling a bit nervous about the whole situation. His usual cool complexion was wavering; he switched sitting positions five times in ten minutes, his hands were sweating profusely, and he kept cracking dumb jokes in his head to try to distract himself. Funny thing was that Thomas didn’t even know about the whole “situation”. Newt supposed that this fact made it worse for himself. 

The usual bustle of the cafe took his attention away from his thoughts, but only for a fleeting moment. The occasional laughs from the old ladies across from them and the clinking of plates weren’t enough to keep him occupied. Thomas was spacing out, as he often did, and his hair was tousled from the breeze. He looked so adorable and somehow so serious at the same time; he belonged in a painting of a Venice scene, somewhere in the background, pondering the calm waters. 

It wasn’t that Newt was reconsidering his decision, he just didn’t want to ruin the pure innocence of his life with Thomas. They had been together for years now, sharing so many special moments, and what if this ruined it all? What if Thomas said no? It was all too much, Newt’s head was a balloon ready to pop at any moment. 

Thomas, on the other hand, seemed to be at peak relaxation. As Newt sipped nervously at his coffee, Thomas took his time with his own drink. He was living in slow motion, taking in every bit of life with kindness and positivity. There he was, sitting with the love of his life in his favorite outdoor cafe, feeling the cool spring air on his face and the warm sun on his cheeks. He didn’t know it yet, but what Newt had planned for him would only make this lovely day even more lovely than any other day he had ever experienced. 

As he watched the cars go by and squinted at the glints of sun flashing off of their shiny surfaces, he thought about Newt’s hair. It was soft and wavy. It always smelled like strawberries or mango, depending on which shampoo he had used. Newt’s hair was high up on his list of his favorite things in the world, right next to Newt’s lips. He just loved Newt in general. 

Thomas could sense the anxious energy radiating off of Newt, but he decided to not let it affect his own calm state of being. He would question Newt about it in a moment, because Newt’s well being was a priority of Thomas’ of course. But for now, all was peaceful and perfect in the mind of Thomas. 

Fidgeting with the silver band on his left ring finger, Thomas finally looked back at Newt. He admired how his locks turned golden in the sun and how his skin glowed. He noticed that his cheeks were sun kissed and took note to remind Newt to wear more sunscreen. He admired how good he looked with the blue short sleeved button up over his white t-shirt, paired with a silver chain that reached the middle of his chest. Even when he was anxious, he still appeared so collected and put together. 

Newt noticed that Thomas’ attention was back on him and knew that it was time. This was it. This was his chance. The months of consideration, the hours upon hours of back and forth debates with himself, the endless research. He was ready, and now all he had to do was find out if Thomas was ready too. 

He reminded himself to breathe. This was Thomas he was with, his Tommy, the Tommy that loved him unconditionally and trusted him more than anyone else. The Tommy that held him at night when he was feeling sad or when he just wanted to be held, the Tommy that was bound to him by two words. The Tommy that he was so, so in love with. He took one more look at his husband’s beautiful features and suddenly he knew he could do it. 

Newt rested his chin on his hand and said it,

“Tommy, I want us to adopt a baby.”

Thomas breathed in, stirred his drink for a moment, then breathed out as he looked up from it. He smiled kindly; a smile that held a million words. He reached his hands across the table to gently touch Newt’s and looked into his lover’s eyes. 

“Yeah,” He lifted Newt’s hand and placed a small kiss on it, “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that this whole story is kind of a reflection of my own life, as most writing is. When I wrote this story (minus the end chapter) I was in a super bad place and I was feeling very lonely and desperate for affection. I feel like this last chapter reflects a lot of my current anxieties and my transition into enjoying and appreciating life despite them. I suppose I wanted to express those feelings, thus my sudden motivation to write this chapter. Spring is coming as well and it's a great time for new beginnings (and the end of winter depression! Yay!), I'm excited for what life has to offer me and for the warmth of the sun! I hope you all feel good things today and every day, you deserve it :)

**Author's Note:**

> (Tumblr is douxkid, come talk to me if you want!)


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